I like to challenge the localized thinking of individuals to make global change

Archive for July, 2012

Well….I guess I’ll have fries with my Burger!

Ah Chick-Fil-A how I will miss thee!  People are entitled to their own opinions I suppose, but is it good business practice to have your opinions alienate current and potential customers by telling people that they are supporting your efforts against same-sex marriage when they patronize your establishment.  I mean if he said I am against black women with natural hair, would you still pick out your fro, gather up your twists, or cinch up your locks and go buy that chicken sandwich, nuggets, salad, shake, etc. even though your money is helping to protest that which you have every right to as a part of your life?

I’m not naive enough to think that others will see anything wrong with this position and continue to happily answer the question, “How may I serve you today?”  However, I now find myself in a precarious position.  My daughter is in a same-sex marriage and if I continue to patronize Chick-Fil-A then I will in essence be supporting that which is against my daughter.  This just doesn’t sit too well with my spirit.  So I’m down to a choice of a chicken sandwich or my child.  Well, to me that’s a no-brainer.

I doubt that Chick-Fil-A will miss my little $26.00 at least once a week when I feed the whole family.  But I will know in my heart that I am protesting something that is totally against that which I support and if it costs me a few waffle fries….well, so be it!

Peace and Blessings


Life’s a…..

Rarely do I take the time to engage in watching Reality Television shows because I ask myself what do I gain for my life by watching others live theirs.  However, recently I came across a short clip of the Bristol Palin, Life’s a Tripp show which entails Bristol Palin raising (I use this term loosely) her 3 yr. old son, Tripp.  In this particular clip, Tripp was having a fit because he wasn’t allowed to go to the pool.  During his tirade, Tripp repeatedly told his mother and his aunt that he hated them while swinging at and hitting his aunt.  Bristol and aunt Willow found this to be quite amusing and while giggling at the little tyke tried to discipline him by saying “don’t say that” in between chuckles.  As if this wasn’t sad enough, little Tripp then uses an “F” word.  “Go away you f—–!” the toddler says to his aunt, as Willow and Bristol cover their mouths in horror. “I don’t like you.”  Now, according to several news reports he called his aunt a “faggot.”  However, his mother denies this saying,

“He does NOT use slurs,” Palin wrote on her blog in response to the report. “Let me be clear.  I’m not proud of what he did say.  Sadly, he used a different ‘f word.'”

“Tripp is always surrounded by adults,” she continued. “He’s apparently picked up some language that I’d prefer he not use. On national television or at home.”

So this is her explanation.  Then she goes on to say, “I’ve done a terrible job disciplining Tripp,” Palin admits on the show. “I know he’s going to continue to push the boundaries.”

There are several things I find disturbing about Bristol’s statements.  Being clear that your 3 yr. old used a different “f” word because he is “always” surrounded by adults doesn’t make it okay.  Now I’m not saying that Tripp is the first 3 yr. old to drop an “f” bomb or any other lettered bomb for that matter, but to follow the statement with “He’s apparently picked up some language that I’d prefer he not use on national television or at home.” makes me wonder who is in control here.  Clearly not mom since she admits to doing a “terrible job disciplining Tripp.”  Perhaps he’s getting the wrong message because (a) he’s always surrounded by adults (b) he’s on television (c) because while he’s displaying this bad behavior his mom and aunt or giggling like middle school girls on a sleepover.

What I question is why is this considered entertainment.  Would this still be entertainment if mom’s name was LaToya Johnson or Breanna Smith?  How is showing an unwed, inexperienced, immature young woman doing a poor job of raising her son considered a good idea for television.  I’ve heard Sarah Palin criticizing others about family values and what is good for this country yet I have not seen anything in this family that I would want to emulate.  I’m thinking those who throw stones should not be named Palin.  Seriously, this child is being victimized all in the name of Capitalism because showing a well behaved well adjusted child being raised by a mother who got pregnant too young but is making the best of her situation would not bring the ratings the networks need and therefore would not pay profits.  It saddens me that not only are we seeing a child’s life being prostituted, somewhere down the line others will pay a heavy price for profits.

“I know he is going to continue to push the boundaries” she says.  If you know this than why allow it to continue.  Oh wait, I just covered that in the last paragraph.  Well, then I guess we better consider ourselves forewarned.  What is going to happen when little Tripp goes to school and doesn’t like the fact that there are rules he has to follow?  What happens when someone tells him “no” and he doesn’t like it?  What is he going to do when he grows up and realizes he is an outcast among his peers?  Maybe he will go on the internet and compile his arsenal of Glocks and Assault Rifles, don a mask and full body armor, walk onto a college campus, into a movie theater, or into a school cafeteria and determine who will live to see another day.

This final statement really sealed the deal for me.  After all was said and done, Bristol says,   “I do oppose gay marriage,” she wrote in her blog post (which I guess is important coming from her). “I guess the temptation to label my three year old son is just too great for the lefty papers to resist.”  So it is a political ploy to label her 3 year old son who she is profiting off of by making his life a television show the reason why this is such a big deal.  Was the temptation of exploiting your son for money too great of a temptation to resist?  I would hope that someone would get a clue before it is indeed too late for this child (if it’s not already).

Proverbs 22:6 states: “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

We are seeing first hand how this child is being trained let’s pray he departs from it before we have to start counting bodies.

Peace and Blessings





Disappointment is as much a part of life as breathing.  I have learned that no matter what the vision, there will always be some challenges, roadblocks, and detours along the way.  Now this is not to say that the vision will not still come to life, just that the way we see it may be skewed a little based on circumstances.  I have had enough of these to almost consider myself an expert.  My expectations with plans have consistently been thwarted by some unforeseen event or a decision or choice that I made along the way that caused me not to be in the best situation for success.  Once again I find myself in the cloud of disappointment and as comforting as it would be to just give up, I somehow find an ounce of determination to try try again.

While this may seem like a work of futility, I would feel more of the failure if I allowed disappointment to determine my fate in life.  I know that there is a perfect plan for my life and I continuously sabotage it by seeing what I think is right for me and getting ten steps ahead of the plan.  Slowing down has never been a method of living for me because I’m afraid I will move so slow that it will eventually look like I’ve stopped.  However, slowing down or even stopping just for a moment to really take in all that I’ve done and how horribly wrong it has turned out may be just the action that is needed to get on track.

I’m always expecting something that looks really easy to be just that and I don’t understand why it works so well for others but turns out to be another pit fall for me.  The fact of the matter is that I am trying to fit my square peg into someone else’s round hole (hmmmm…that sounds suspect).  Let me clarify, I am looking on the outside of myself and seeing what I think should be my life instead of looking at who I am and realizing what is my life.  I create my own disappointments because I think what I see in others should be what works for me.  This revelation hopefully will be the ending of so many disappointments and the beginning of truly living my honestly authentic life.

Peace and Blessing


United? We’re not!

I am and have been for quite some time growing weary of this overgrown playground game of Red Rover.  Red Rover, Red Rover, send the next politician over!  The fact that we are called the “United” States of America is a joke in itself.  Our government is probably the most divisive entity in the world.  It is an “Us” or “Them” concept that uses the average American citizen as pawns.  If we find ourselves on the wrong team then we lose.  I’m sure there was a good reason at one time for creating political parties, but I don’t see the benefit in them except to further divide people over beliefs, opinions, socio-economic status, race, and class.  What has sickened me the most is the amount of money that is being spent on campaigning to be the president and lawmakers while criticizing the state of the economy at the same time.  I am inundated with emails and telephone calls to give, give, give even after explaining my financial status and the fact that I work a part-time job just so one campaign can keep up financially with the other.  Then I hear about $25,000 dollar a head dinners to raise funds for another campaign.  And what do the American people get out of all of this spending? Countless television ads touting the positives of one candidate over the other, extreme negativity, misleading sound bites that only give a portion of a story, and false “I’ll take care of you” promises that never come into fruition because everybody in the house can’t play nice together.  Here’s a great idea, let’s have a “get the American people out of debt” fundraiser and use that money to pay down America’s credit card, allow people to go to college without having to choose between a degree and the basic necessities of life, having healthcare that everybody can afford, offering grants for people to start a small business or to help small businesses grow so they can hire people.  I think if a person really cared about the state of the economy, they would want that money to go to something that would be long-lasting and helpful and not something that is temporary like an election that is so vindictive and teaches our children how to use hateful tactics against another person to get what you want.

I’m a believer in showing me what I mean to you rather than telling me.  I don’t want someone who purchases the White House or any other public office telling me that they have the best interest of my family as their priority when all they can do is tear down the other guy or party to make themselves look like the lesser of two evils.  I will vote in November and for any other election because I truly feel like it is my duty as an American citizen to take part in the process, but in all honesty I have never walked away from a voting booth feeling like there was going to be a real change in how our government works because the roles are reversed.  Instead of the government doing the will of the people, the people are screaming to the top of their lungs telling the government what we want only to have them shake a finger in our faces and tell us “no, that’s not good for you” because they know better.

The audacity of government officials telling citizens that they don’t deserve healthcare because it came from the other guy or it’s going to cost too much while enjoying the benefits of income, healthcare, transportation, vacations, and other amenities at the expense of the American people.  It seems like we have hired an employee and given them this great benefits package and then having them tell us how they’re going to do the job we hired them to do and they don’t think we should get the same benefits that they have.  Voting is supposed to be the process of hiring employees that we think are going to do the job we need them to do that will garner the most benefits for the majority and firing those who have proven to not operate according to the job description.  What has happened is one group of people trying to get more of their people in positions of power that will benefit them and screw the rest.  Excuse me, but I feel some kind of way about this.

Ideally, I don’t think politicians should need to have extravagant fundraisers to try to convince people that they are the candidate who will do the best job.  In the end all it tells me is that your friends are richer than the other person’s friends and they can afford to spend more money than the average person.  Also, raising money doesn’t mean you are going to be a great president or government official, it doesn’t even mean that they think that you would make a great leader,  it just means that you have people who dislike the other person enough to spend any amount of money to replace them.

The really sad commentary is it really doesn’t matter who gets into office as the leader of the free world, until we limit terms on all the other people who are in office we will always have stalemates and governmental tug of wars at the cost of the American people.  I don’t understand why congressmen and senators can serve in a position unlimited as long as they are voted in and the president is limited on their time when that is the position where we need the most consistency.  As long as we have decision makers who are hell-bent on having their own way regardless of whether it is beneficial to the citizens they serve or not, progress will continue to be on a hamster wheel just going around and around without moving forward.  There will never be resolution to some of our most pertinent issues if we are voting for something one term and against it the next.  I am increasingly pessimistic about the state of our country and am just preparing for the worse.  The only comfort I have in all of this is that God is ultimately in control of it all and He will determine the destiny of this country.  God Bless America?  God Help America!

No Sympathy Needed

I have found it amusing and disheartening that people who have read my book, “Mother of the Brides” or who I have told about my daughter’s relationship find it necessary to get that funeral home tone in their voice and offer such sympathy and understanding to me in my “situation.”  First of all, thank you for taking the time to read the book, but I think you are missing the point.  I wrote the book to talk about my “journey” not my “struggle.”  Please stop acting like I have lost my daughter to some unforeseen tragedy.  The book is about what I have gained not lost.  Life isn’t always as predictable as we would like to think it is and I have learned to grow from my journeys not to let them swallow me up in a black hole of despair.

I was speaking to a relative recently and I told her about my daughter and daughter-in-love.  Her reaction was not as shocking as it was sad.  She spoke about how although she didn’t agree with that type of lifestyle she wouldn’t condemn anyone but at the same time she said that they would basically be lost as far as their spirituality is concerned.  When I informed her that my daughters were indeed Christians and that they would not be lost, she responded with a very shocked “HOW?”  Well, I begin to patiently explain, they have both accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior and have a very strong spiritual relationship with Jesus.  She looked on in disbelief.  I began to realize at that moment that there are those who don’t believe Christians can be homosexual.  Interesting.  Christians can be liars, thieves, fornicators, divorcees, gluttons, envious, jealous, gossips (watch those toes!), haters, cheaters, murderers, backbiters, unfaithful, hypocrites, greedy…etc.etc….but not homosexual?  The last time I checked my Bible, there was a whole list of things we shouldn’t be that churches are full of.  The other thing I find very interesting is how those Christians who have asked for forgiveness of sins they have and continue to commit are the ones who shout the loudest about those who are living in sin and will be condemned to hell.  Matthew 7:1-2 clearly states “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”  In case you are missing the point here it is simply stated that as you are shaking the Bible at others look in the mirror because you also will be judged for your life by that same Word.

Mother of the Brides was written as encouragement to those parents who may be faced with the nontraditional lifestyle of their child to know that they are not alone and it is not a deal breaker.  Also for children to know that they are and should be loved regardless of who they love.  I am not trying to be the poster mother of disappointed parents.  That was one aspect of the journey which should be understood, but the book did not end there.  So if you feel like you need to offer me condolences, a shoulder to lean on, or some word of sympathy, please keep it!!  No sympathy needed here.  Me and mine are quite happy with ourselves…Thank you!

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