I like to challenge the localized thinking of individuals to make global change

Archive for October, 2015

Yes, I disciplined my children by spanking

Let me make it perfectly clear that there is no…I’ll say that again…NO correlation between my disciplining my children and an officer of the law physically assaulting a child…excuse me….a BLACK child.  For those who are trying to, once again, find a connection between parents who discipline their children by spanking, popping the butt or legs, tapping a hand, or what have you, to society feeling like it is okay to drag a 16 year old girl out of her chair and across the floor, may as well try to harness the wind or catch oil in your grasp.  Yes, I used spanking as a form of discipline with my children because I wanted them to know that spanking was “a” not “the” form of consequence for their actions.  They also received time-outs, punishments of being in the house, no tv, no toys, and very stern talks.  However, just because I spanked…not BEAT…spanked my children, I was not diminishing who or what they were to become, neither was I telling them that this was the expectation that they should have from society.  I agree that corporal punishment in and of itself may not produce a positive outcome, but it can be effective when used along with consistency, admonishing, love, and support.  A spanking, punishment, discipline from a place of love, boundaries, and correction is very different from a beating from anger, hatred, and abuse!  The Baltimore mom who was seen on television hitting her son because she was so appalled and afraid at what she witnessed her child doing was both applauded and criticized.  Applauded by media saying they were glad to see a mom who was taking control of a young black man in the wrong.  Criticized by others (you know who you are) because of “How” she was taking control of a young black man in the wrong.  Black mothers, especially, are in a no win situation.  If we correct our children physically, we are being abusive, if we don’t correct them physically, we are being punks or irresponsible.  My children learned that if they displayed unacceptable forms of behavior that there would be age appropriate consequences.  That did not make them perfect children, but it made them adults with a conscious and a knowledge that for every action there is a counter action.  That being said, they also knew that they had every right to feel safe and protected by me and their father.  That they did not have to relinquish their rights as a person just because they grew up in a household where discipline was enforced.  Because I spanked my children, also did not send a message to society that it was okay for anyone to treat them as if they were less than human.  My children have been taught to respect authority but to also feel that they have the right to question authority when they feel they are being treated outside of the dignity and respect of being a human being. What the officer did, and also the school administration did, was to strip this 16 year old girl of her dignity and respect and treated her as if she was less than human.  I fault the teacher and administrator for not having the classroom management skills to handle the situation because this was clearly not a law enforcement level incident.  In turn, the officer took it to a level of wrestling down a 200 lb man who was tearing up a bar or robbing a liquor store.  The officer’s response is sickening, but the fact that there are those who now want to blame parents who spanked their children as the reason why this officer or any other law enforcement representative feels it is okay to physically assault this young lady or any other black child is as bad as blaming the victim for being assaulted.

3am Thoughts


At these moments, the world is still
You have nothing except your mind and heart to accompany you

Usually thoughts of either your past or future flood and sometimes you forget the present,

I know I do

At times I get too regretful about my past or too anxious for my future

See, the thing about life,

It consumes your mind with “What if’s” that bring about a new level of unneeded stress

You never know how your life would be if you fulfilled your urge for instant gratification that you initially turned down in the past.

The butterfly effect,

The wave of changes that would have taken place in your life, good and bad, would’ve altered something

You would’ve just won some here and there but it’d still lead to a lose down the road

Learn to follow your heart, and be content with the outcome

Don’t be regretful…

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Dear Church People

Dear Church People

When you say you are praying is it for my destruction because I make you uncomfortable or are you truly praying as an agent of God

When you say God loves me is it only if I live the life that you think I should live or does He love me as the creature He made

When you say you understand, do you only understand that my sin is bigger than yours or do you truly understand who I am and what I feel

When you hug me is it out of love or pity

Dear church people when you look at me and my life, are you looking down or lifting up

Are you judging my sins by your standards or are you accepting that we ALL fall short

Dear church people when you wonder why I don’t come to church, do your think it’s because of the sin in my life or do you realize that it’s because of you, church people, who judge my life, condemn my choices, pray for my destruction, lie while smiling in my face, praise God while worshipping yourselves….

Dear church people, while you are blaming the destruction of morality of this land on me and my life do you remember the immoral choices you have made, the lies you have told, the behaviors that you have exhibited in your life that would be displeasing to a Holy God

Dear church people, I too pray….For You

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