I like to challenge the localized thinking of individuals to make global change

Posts tagged ‘Alternative Lifestyle’

No Sympathy Needed

I have found it amusing and disheartening that people who have read my book, “Mother of the Brides” or who I have told about my daughter’s relationship find it necessary to get that funeral home tone in their voice and offer such sympathy and understanding to me in my “situation.”  First of all, thank you for taking the time to read the book, but I think you are missing the point.  I wrote the book to talk about my “journey” not my “struggle.”  Please stop acting like I have lost my daughter to some unforeseen tragedy.  The book is about what I have gained not lost.  Life isn’t always as predictable as we would like to think it is and I have learned to grow from my journeys not to let them swallow me up in a black hole of despair.

I was speaking to a relative recently and I told her about my daughter and daughter-in-love.  Her reaction was not as shocking as it was sad.  She spoke about how although she didn’t agree with that type of lifestyle she wouldn’t condemn anyone but at the same time she said that they would basically be lost as far as their spirituality is concerned.  When I informed her that my daughters were indeed Christians and that they would not be lost, she responded with a very shocked “HOW?”  Well, I begin to patiently explain, they have both accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior and have a very strong spiritual relationship with Jesus.  She looked on in disbelief.  I began to realize at that moment that there are those who don’t believe Christians can be homosexual.  Interesting.  Christians can be liars, thieves, fornicators, divorcees, gluttons, envious, jealous, gossips (watch those toes!), haters, cheaters, murderers, backbiters, unfaithful, hypocrites, greedy…etc.etc….but not homosexual?  The last time I checked my Bible, there was a whole list of things we shouldn’t be that churches are full of.  The other thing I find very interesting is how those Christians who have asked for forgiveness of sins they have and continue to commit are the ones who shout the loudest about those who are living in sin and will be condemned to hell.  Matthew 7:1-2 clearly states “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”  In case you are missing the point here it is simply stated that as you are shaking the Bible at others look in the mirror because you also will be judged for your life by that same Word.

Mother of the Brides was written as encouragement to those parents who may be faced with the nontraditional lifestyle of their child to know that they are not alone and it is not a deal breaker.  Also for children to know that they are and should be loved regardless of who they love.  I am not trying to be the poster mother of disappointed parents.  That was one aspect of the journey which should be understood, but the book did not end there.  So if you feel like you need to offer me condolences, a shoulder to lean on, or some word of sympathy, please keep it!!  No sympathy needed here.  Me and mine are quite happy with ourselves…Thank you!

Til Death? Really

I would like for someone to tell me why the sanctity of “Marriage” is such a controversial issue.  Some people are so hell bent on protecting this “religious institution” but fail to realize how weak the foundation of this institution has become.  We have so many people who “marry” for convenience, for publicity, for money, for lust, for so many reasons other than love and pro-creation (which is what was supposed to come after  marriage by the way).  Marriage isn’t about two people meeting, getting to know one another, spending time together, getting to know one another’s families, bonding, talking, learning who they are and then deciding that this is the one person they want to spend the rest of their lives with. Marriage has become a reality show where people pick from a buffet of men or women.  They then date, fondle, and kiss their way down the rosebush until they reach that final “one” that is their “soulmate.” (really?…hmmmm)  It’s a competition to see who can win in the end and then realizing that this person that they fought so hard for is not only someone they don’t want to spend their lives with, but they really don’t even like them.  Once the cameras stop rolling and real life begins, they are slapped in the face with the true reality that they got caught up in the moments of some really cool dates and very nice vacations and scenery and the fairy tale is over.

Marriage is something to do during a drunken night in Vegas that can be dissolved before you can say “hangover.”  Marriage is a publicity stunt when one is no longer getting enough of the limelight and needs a boost to their celebrity and/or career.  Marriage is something that is fought out in court on television for all the world to see and hear about all the “babymama” drama and who cheated on who, who took who’s money, and who didn’t live up to the other’s expectations.  Marriage is no longer this holy institution that some want to make it out to be.  If it were then the two people who stand before God and recite the vows of better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health…til DEATH DO US PART, would not need Divorce Court, Annullment Papers, Pre-nups, Mediators, or Counselors because they would remember what they vowed before GOD and that would be all that was needed.  Marriage isn’t something that is viewed as holy and sanctified (set apart) it is treated as a trend just like Pop Rocks and Leg Warmers.  It’s what’s in style one moment and so passe’ the next.

People get so up in arms when coloreds want to marry non-coloreds, Jews want to marry Gentiles, poor want to marry rich, short want to marry tall, skinny want to marry fat, women want to marry women and men want to marry men…IT’S JUST NOT NATURAL they say.  Well coloring your hair to make it blond when you were born brunette is not natural, shaving hair down there is not natural, acrylic nails are not natural, dogs and cats living in the same household is not natural, weave (don’t care how much you pay for it) is not natural…need I go on.  It’s not about whether or not people believe in the sanctity of marriage, the issue is just like kids who get a special gift and they don’t want their brother or sister to have their same toy or gift because then their’s wouldn’t be so special.  People want to feel like what they have is special and if it is available to just anybody, what makes it special?  If everybody could own a yacht what would be the big deal about owning a yacht. there would be no prestige, nothing to set them apart.  If we all lived in Mansions, they would just be referred to as really big houses because it would be available to anyone regardless of who they are or what they believed.  Marriage was not meant to make only certain people eligible to become a part of it like it is some Elite Country Club that you have to meet certain requirements to join.

States want to define marriage between one woman and one man.  Is this one woman and one man period or one woman and one man at a time because some people need clarification when it comes to that mandate.  By the way, how many of those politicians, ministers (yes, I’m calling you out too), judges, juries, and citizens have been married to only one man or one woman “til death.”  I’m just wondering really, what number wife or husband are you on?  Some of the same people that want to step up and say that marriage should be defined as between one man and one woman have discarded previous mates like stale bread because they just aren’t appealing anymore or old shoes because they just didn’t fit anymore or where no longer stylish.  Maybe I’m just not getting it.  I can think of so many other things that need defending like children who are forced to endure foster parents who only want the money and could care less about the well-being of the child.  Let me take a step back, what about parents who are continuously given public resources that they use to take better care of themselves then they do their children.  The number of divorces, single parenthood, adultery, domestic violence, child abuse and neglect is off the charts but our main focus in America is who is marrying whom.  I really would like someone to explain this to me rationally.  Why are we so protective of “Marriage?”

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