I like to challenge the localized thinking of individuals to make global change

Posts tagged ‘Parents’

No Sympathy Needed

I have found it amusing and disheartening that people who have read my book, “Mother of the Brides” or who I have told about my daughter’s relationship find it necessary to get that funeral home tone in their voice and offer such sympathy and understanding to me in my “situation.”  First of all, thank you for taking the time to read the book, but I think you are missing the point.  I wrote the book to talk about my “journey” not my “struggle.”  Please stop acting like I have lost my daughter to some unforeseen tragedy.  The book is about what I have gained not lost.  Life isn’t always as predictable as we would like to think it is and I have learned to grow from my journeys not to let them swallow me up in a black hole of despair.

I was speaking to a relative recently and I told her about my daughter and daughter-in-love.  Her reaction was not as shocking as it was sad.  She spoke about how although she didn’t agree with that type of lifestyle she wouldn’t condemn anyone but at the same time she said that they would basically be lost as far as their spirituality is concerned.  When I informed her that my daughters were indeed Christians and that they would not be lost, she responded with a very shocked “HOW?”  Well, I begin to patiently explain, they have both accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior and have a very strong spiritual relationship with Jesus.  She looked on in disbelief.  I began to realize at that moment that there are those who don’t believe Christians can be homosexual.  Interesting.  Christians can be liars, thieves, fornicators, divorcees, gluttons, envious, jealous, gossips (watch those toes!), haters, cheaters, murderers, backbiters, unfaithful, hypocrites, greedy…etc.etc….but not homosexual?  The last time I checked my Bible, there was a whole list of things we shouldn’t be that churches are full of.  The other thing I find very interesting is how those Christians who have asked for forgiveness of sins they have and continue to commit are the ones who shout the loudest about those who are living in sin and will be condemned to hell.  Matthew 7:1-2 clearly states “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”  In case you are missing the point here it is simply stated that as you are shaking the Bible at others look in the mirror because you also will be judged for your life by that same Word.

Mother of the Brides was written as encouragement to those parents who may be faced with the nontraditional lifestyle of their child to know that they are not alone and it is not a deal breaker.  Also for children to know that they are and should be loved regardless of who they love.  I am not trying to be the poster mother of disappointed parents.  That was one aspect of the journey which should be understood, but the book did not end there.  So if you feel like you need to offer me condolences, a shoulder to lean on, or some word of sympathy, please keep it!!  No sympathy needed here.  Me and mine are quite happy with ourselves…Thank you!

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