When I think of the words anger or angry I immediately attach a negative feeling to these words. Why are people so angry? What makes you angry? Be careful, you might anger her! When the words are used in those instances, I feel that my negative attachment is justified. People who are labeled as angry are usually thought of as abrupt, outraged, unreasonable, and intimidating. That may be so in some cases, but then what about when someone is justifiably angry. What about the anger that is shown when a child is abused or neglected? What about the anger towards the big corporations for outsourcing jobs or mistreating employees while CEO’s continue to get huge paychecks and bonuses? What about the anger over a young unarmed man being shot to death? In these instances anger is not only a justified response, but a necessary one. Sometimes anger is necessary to propel people to action. Sometimes it’s necessary to hold someone accountable for wrongdoing. There are times when anger is the motivation to move from one circumstance to another. This last statement is what has inspired me to focus on my anger. I have felt very angry regarding, what I felt were, injustices towards me by others. I felt angry that someone had the power to effect my career with no thought of the repercussions that would still endure many years later. I am angry that I have been accused of being distant and closed off, not letting people get too close, only to open up and get this nagging pain in my back from a sharp object. I’m angry that no matter how hard I try, I seem to always be walking uphill. I’m angry that I seem to speak quite loudly, but no one seems to hear what I’m saying. I’m angry that I’m angry!
The difference, I noticed, between being an angry person and feeling anger is the result. Angry people look for vengeance. Angry people are always finding the wrong in others without ever looking at themselves. Angry people only find more things to be angry about. Angry people never try to find a solution for their anger because it’s just the way they are. They like being angry…they like the fact that people are afraid to approach them or afraid to say the wrong thing to them. It makes them feel powerful. The feeling of anger, on the other hand, doesn’t give one the feeling of power. On the contrary, it makes you feel helpless, weak, at a loss, powerless to change the situation. It makes situations feel enormous and overwhelming. This anger stems from the injustice not from vengeance…this anger is the good anger. When recognized for what it is, It makes people take a stand, it gives voice to victims and life to the down trodden. That’s the anger that I will begin to use to fuel the fire of forward progress, to motivate me to move from my present situation to the purpose that God has called me to. This anger that I feel now is like a defibrillator to a heart attack victim….it gives me the jolt that I need to write, to explore, to pursue, to dream, to master a task, and to prove that I am more than what others have perceived me to be. I will be angry but do not fear because this anger will only grow into love, compassion, and faith.